


What Do You Mean You Don’t Believe a Half-Spider Kid in Spandex Saved Me?

by arachnapete



Series: The Times Where Peter Parker and Jake Peralta Were The Ultimate Duo [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Spider-Man & Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), tom holland - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 20:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15373065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arachnapete/pseuds/arachnapete
Summary: In which Peter Parker, ahem, Spider-Man saves Jake Peralta.OrNo one believes Spider-Man saved Jake “I watch way too many movies” Peralta.





	What Do You Mean You Don’t Believe a Half-Spider Kid in Spandex Saved Me?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post on here! It would mean a lot of you left feedback!! :)
> 
> [Not really requested, more so someone left a headcannon idea on my Tumblr and my Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Spider-Man loving ass couldn’t resist writing it]
> 
> [I am taking requests!]
> 
> Tumblr: spideyy-pete

Was it stupid to follow your criminal arch nemesis without any backup except for one small hand gun and some witty comebacks? 

 

Yes, hell yes it was.

 

However, Jacob Peralta was no bitch and he will absolutely not let his long time arch nemesis Doug Judy, or rather, the Pontiac Bandit flee with another ridiculously over dramatic exit. Jake kept his distance, taking a few steps forward when necessary. It felt too good to be true. No way could it have been luck to see Doug casually in the streets of Queens. He was a wanted criminal for crying out loud!

Jake had been working on a case, his only lead leading back to Queens. Sure, Boyle had offered to go with Jake but it didn’t seem necessary at the time. It was only meant to be a quick in and out of the city.

And boy, was Jake really regretting rejecting his best friend now.

In his time of slowly following the criminal and debating how he wanted to make his presence known, Jake couldn’t help but wonder what exactly Doug was up to. Another Pontiac steal? No, those days were definitely behind him. The small voice in Jake’s head prayed for it to be. The news was filled with countless encounters and stories of leftover Chitauri weapons still being used. Could Doug really go that far? 

Now don’t get Jake wrong, yes he was most definitely the best detective in his precinct (Probably in all of Brooklyn!), but the Nine-Nine were no Avengers. (Although, Boyle did make them dress up as the Avengers one Halloween, and needles to say, it made a very good Heist competition between him and the captain that year. But, that’s a story for another day). 

They were a group of detectives—hell, they were some damn good ones too—but no way would they ever find them selves in an actual Iron Suit or turning into a literal eight-foot-tall green monster. Although, Gina would definitely be caught making out with Thor, it was on her bucket list. That woman could make anything happen and no one would be surprised.

“Alright, Peralta, no balls you got this.” He mumbled to himself. He made sure his gun was loaded and his Die-Hard-Like enterance was ready to roll off his tongue.

Jake made his over to the corner of the alley where Doug Judy would meet his fate of handcuffs and jail cells—no deal this time. 

Jake took a deep breath and quickly pointed up his gun, “So Doug, thought you would only see me in Brooklyn? I’m everywhere, you can’t escape the great Jake Peralta that easily”

Doug whipped around and scoffed, “Man? I’ve escaped you every. single. time.” 

“So, anyways, let’s make this easy yeah? I’ll take you back to Queens police and transport you back to the nine-nine and we’ll finally put an end to this”

“You know? I’m thinking about it”

Jake blinked a couple of times and tried to wrap his head around the words that came out of Doug’s mouth, “You are?”

“Yeah and if I’m gonna be completely honest with you, I don’t like it. Neither do the three guys who are all pointing guns at the back of your head.”

Jakes over-confident smirk fell as he slowly turned around, “Hey, let’s just talk about this? You know, I’ll just pretend this never-“

The middle man began to pull the trigger.

Jake squeezed his eyes shut awaiting the impact.

Nothing ever came.

At least the bullet never came, a web shot down and yanked the gun out of the mans hand.

“C’mon guys, Mr Policeman is just trying to do his job. It’s rude to interrupt people when they’re working!”

A flash of red and blue swung by Jake and grab the other two guns from the other men. The vigilante proceeded to wrap the men in whatever was coming out of his wrist.

Jake didn’t have time to process anything that was going on, he didn’t even know what was going on.

The quick pattering of footsteps snapped him out of his thoughts, “Doug get back here!” Jake aimed his gun but the spiderling (Was it appropriate to even call him that? Was it even a him?!) webbed the gun out of his hand. 

“Sorry, I have a no killing rule. I mean you probably wouldn’t shoot, I hope you wouldn’t anyways— Oh, no you don’t! Get back here Mr Criminal!” The vigilante yelled and aimed a web around Doug waist and pulled him back.

Jake was in awe, speechless really, he was finally putting the pieces together. This, spiderling vigilante person, was just a kid. A kid in red and blue spandex but, holy shit, this kid was a badass.

“Welcome to the party.” The red and blue hero deepened his tone and attached Doug to the wall.

Welcome to the party? No way, this kid just got even more badass. 

Jake opened his mouth to speak but Doug beat him to it, “Who the hell are you anyways?”

Had it not been for the cool ass mask this kid was wearing, Jake would definitely be able to tell he had a shit eating grin on his face, “Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. A monkey in the wretch. A pain in the ass.”

Yeah, this kid was Jake’s new hero.

“You’re a die hard fan!” Jake practically screamed.

“It’s only the greatest movie of all time! Besides Star Wars and Back To The Future of course,” The hero excitedly spoke.

And he had a good taste in movies? Okay, Jake had to be in some alternate universe. Maybe he traveled to an alternate dimension and he was actually talking to himself. Yeah, that had to be it. No way was someone this cool.

“No way, who actually are you kid?”

Please let it be Jake Peralta from another universe, Please let it be Jake Peralta from another universe, Please let it be Jake Peralta from another universe.

“Spider-Man!”

So, not a complete answer to his hopes but definitely not a complete turn down.

“What about you Mr Policeman?”

The over confident smirk returned to Jake’s face, “Detective Jake Peralta! The finest detective of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine!”

“Detective? That’s cool! My uncle was a detective. I also know a guy from Brooklyn, but he dropped an entire cargo truck on me. Well, I’ve gotta go fight some more crime somewhere else, you know how it goes! Maybe we’ll work together if I’m ever in Brooklyn. Bye for now Mr Detective Peralta!” The hero pointed his web shooters to a nearby building and quickly turned to the criminals, “Have fun in jail Mr Criminals! The webs will dissolve in two hours!” He swung off with a loud ‘YIPPIE KI YAY MOTHERFUCKERS’.

Yeah, the spider kid swinging around in red and blue spandex just helped him catch his arch nemesis and said Die Hard is one of the greatest movies of all time was his fucking hero.

Two hours later, the webs did dissolve and Jake actually called for backup this time. Queens police took the three henchmen away to their own precinct and let Jake take the one and only Doug Judy back to the Nine-Nine after they gave him clearance. 

During the drive back to Brooklyn, Jake was finally beginning to process everything. Yeah sure, Doug was yapping about how Jake didn’t technically capture him but instead Queen’s finest did but Jake actually tuned him out for once.

Man, the Nine-Nine was going to be so jealous.

Jake smiled to himself as he rode up the elevator awaiting to make his grand entrance and tell the greatest story of all time.

The elevator doors dinged and Jake stepped out.

“Ladies and gentlemen your attention please! I, Jacob Peralta, have put the end to the greatest war of all time. The one that would put Mufasa and Scar to shame! To put the Great War to shame!”

“Get with it Peralta.” Holt deadpanned.

“On July Tenth, Twenty Eighteen: I bring to you—Charles drum roll please!”

Charles shoved everything off his desk and pulled out two drum sticks from God knows where and began to drumroll.

As if on que, two local police men stepped into the squads view, the famous Doug Judy in handcuffs between them.

“Doug Judy!”

Smiles spread across everyone faces as they all cheered. Gina popping a bottle of champagne from, once again, God knows where. While the champagne shot everywhere, Holt looked impressed.

“Alright Peralta, how’d you do it?”

“Yeah Peralta, who helped you? You went to Queens by yourself!” Rosa rose an eyebrow.

“Spider-Man.”

The entire precinct, criminals included, fell into silence. 

Then into laughter.

Lots of laughter.

“Spider-Man? C’mon Jake! You can tell a way better story than that!” Terry choked on his own laugh.

“What do you mean? It’s true! Doug tell them it’s true!”

“Never heard of the guy.”

“Doug!” Jake screamed, eyes wide.

“Jake, seriously? How did you do it! Doesn’t matter if it’s embarrassing, you caught him anyways!” Amy chimed.

“I’m serious Ames! I saw Doug, went to go get him arrested but got surrounded by these guys then a web shot out of nowhere and boom, Spider-Man! He even made a Die-Hard reference! He’s really cool!”

“Spider-Man? At least come up with a better name like Arachnid or something.” Holt insisted raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms.

Damn, Arachnid does sounds really cool.

“Cap I’m serious! Don’t you have cop buddies over in Queens? They’ll back me up!”

The squad continued to burst into fits of laughter but Charles spoke up, “Hey Jake?”

“Yeah?”

“I believe you.”

Jake sighed, “I know you do buddy. Thanks.”

***

One week later, while Jake was filing out his paper work, a familiar red and blue figure swung by the window.

Jake did a double-take not believing what he saw.

The kid was perched on the balcony and waved from the window.

“GUYS!” Jake screamed.

A crash came from behind Jake. The sergeant dropped his yogurt, Hitchcock choked on his ice cream, Scully’s eyes snapped open from his nap but then proceeded to fall to the ground to have another heart attack, Amy dropped her binder, Gina stopped rehearsing for her dance performance later that night, Rosa was speechless for the first time in her life, and Boyle fainted from excitement. The Captain’s eyes were practically bulging from out of his head.

Spider-Man shouted a very muffled “HEY MR DETECTIVE PERALTA I WAS IN THE CITY FOR A FIELD TRIP AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO!”

“H-hey kid!” Jake fumbled.

“OKAY! BYE MR DETECTIVE, I MIGHT NEED YOUR HELP LATER I’M NOT SURE HOW I’LL REACH YOU BUT KAREN WILL FIGURE THAT OUT FOR ME. ALRIGHT BYE! YOU’RE A REALLY COOL DETECTIVE!”

The masked hero, once again, swung away after a final wave leaving the nine-nine completely and utterly speechless.

“Holy shit.” Rosa whispered.

“Yeah, I know Jake was telling the truth.” Amy continued to stare wide-eyed at the window Spider-Man was just in front of not wanting to taking her eyes off of it.

“Yeah but,”

“But what?”

“Jake needed a literal toddler to arrest Doug Judy.”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.”


End file.
